C.E.C.C.| Shepherds Cot | Crouch End | North London | N8 8JJ
For three weeks the 1st XI captain has been the victim of a sick snipper. At first, I foolishly assumed my socks had somehow dismembered at their own accord, perhaps from old age. Then as Omar put his evening socks on, only to put his foot straight through, did I realise something was afoot.
Last week the 1st XI captain's socks were savagely attacked again. A clean cut of precision across the top of the toes. The mark of a mad man. Forensic scientists were called to the scene and confirmed the cuts matched. Now official. We have a serial killer.
Yesterday after being given a highly dubious LBW call and staring defeat in the face. I threw my pads around the changing room, got showered and to my amazement the 1st XI captain's socks were emaculately slashed. Identical cuts. ZORO strikes again.
So lets look at the evidence. Who has played three weeks in a row? Omar has already been bumped off. JJ's been batting way too long to even be a possible candidate.
Syed Shah was high up the list. That is until HE GOT HIS SOCKS CUT.
Yesterday in the changing room these two dismissed batsman stared into the black hole that was their evening socks. The cuts matched. THE MARK OF ZORO.
Like your favourite scary movie, one by one the the potential killers are being bumped off. This has sparked all sorts of accusations.
Syed's wife, Noshi, who we must assume knows him well, believes that Syed could still be a candidate, attempting to throw us off the trail by doing his own socks. Having seen Syed's angry reaction, I doubt this very much.
Even I have been accused. The stupidity of that beggars belief. Yet it deserves to be scrutinised. Who was I accused by and to what end?
Omar accused me of cutting Syed's socks. Why would Omar do this? Did HE cut MY socks ONLY? Which means...
Do we have a COPYCAT KILLER?
Who has it in for the skipper? A young hoodlum with authority issues or a disgruntled elder statesman?
One thing's for sure, no one is safe in this team. We can only hope the frenzy doesn't spread to other sides. Else we'll have an epidemic.
Philip Jenkins has vowed never to play for this team for fear of his Hugo Boss socks being decapitated. Police have put him on 24 hour protection.
So the question remains...
WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE SCARY MOVIE?
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